What It Was Like Playing Sports In High School As A Girl
1. First of all, if you forgot to pack a sports bra, your day was literally ruined.
Better hope coach doesn’t make you do jumping jacks!
2. Sometimes you wore your practice clothes to school so you wouldn’t have to change later.
Whatever, it’s comfortable AND convenient.
3. You often had to tell your friends, “Sorry, can’t go to the mall after school. Got practice.”
But you weren’t actually sorry.
4. This got passed around the locker room like a black-market drug.
Sharing is caring.
5. You wore prewrap on your head more than anywhere else on your body.
And it had to match your team colors.
6. You hair was 100% part of your uniform.
Which explains why girls always took longer in the locker room than boys.
7. You might’ve tried to use cramps to get out of practice with a male coach, but with a female coach…
…that shit wouldn’t fly.
8. Boob sweat. It happened.
Like sparkling pools forming at the base of two majestic mountains.
9. You had actual concerns about what your uniform was going to do to your tan lines.
It took an entire summer to get rid of them.
10. You dealt with a lot of ignorant commentary like, “All [insert sport here] players are lesbians.”
11. You knew there’d be serious ramifications if you didn’t wear your bow/tie-dyed socks/lucky eyeblack on important game days.
GREAT, THANKS, NOW WE’RE GONNA LOSE.
12. You couldn’t forget the words to cheers even if you tried.
“HEY, PITCHER! LOOK AT ME. I’M A MONKEY IN A TREE — AH-WOO-AH-AH-AH.”
13. You knew girls who matched their nails to their jersey.
14. You were never sure about the vague sexism that came along with being called the “lady” version of your team name.
15. Or the less vague sexism of having to wear a skirt as part of your uniform.
How is this at all practical?
16. Pink sporting equipment ignited heated debates amongst your teammates.
Pretty? Or pandering?
17. You sometimes resented the boys for getting a lot more recognition for working equally as hard as you…
18. …but at least they were good eye candy.
Be still my 17-year-old heart.
19. BUT using equipment/facilities after the boys was seriously nauseating.
Sweaty high school B.O., NOPE.
20. You can think of more than one loss you suffered because two of your teammates were silently fighting.
But then they were friends again the next day.
21. After a hard loss, you could expect sports-themed baked goods.
Just eat your feelings and the hurt will go away.
22. Team sleepovers were for bonding.
And airing your grievances, i.e., “It really hurt my feelings that you didn’t pass to me in that tournament game.”
24. …yet you spent all of your free time snacking.
Pasta dinners, potlucks, BBQs, DELISH!
25. You felt really cool when you got to leave school early for the State Tournament.
Because States were the most important thing in the world.
26. You were oddly proud of your scrapes, scars, and bruises.
‘Cuz you earned them!
27. There were definitely some tears on Senior Day.
AS IF THE BOYS DIDN’T CRY TOO.
28. Because at the end of the day, your teammates were your sisters.
And four years wasn’t long enough.
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