GOORAMA!

1. Whenever you heard this man’s voice around your house, someone was probably drunk and/or crying.

It was most likely your dad.

2. You’ve been disciplined with at least one of these.

Your mom turned into fucking Hawkeye with the shoe in her hand.

3. You’ve gotten this text at least twice a day.

And you almost shit your pants.

4. Homemade tortillas still make your mouth water.

You don’t even use forks anymore.

5. Your family takes soccer a little too seriously.

It’s always the ref’s fault.

6. There’s still a family rivalry over these two teams.

If you chose a different team than your dad, you were no longer his child.

7. You know at least one person with the Virgin de Guadalupe on their car.

Or tattooed on their arms or back.

8. Your house was always the most colorful.

9. Your mother would always threatened you with “El Cucuy.”

Or la Llorona. The Chupacabra was reserved for special occasions.

10. Your mom used this for every illness.

11. The car always looked like this.

“Get in, there’s still room!”

12. When friends want to go get Mexican food and buy Taco Bell:

13. There is at least one member in your family named Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus.

14. When you try to talk about your self-esteem with your parents.

15. You carry some sort of hot sauce in your purse or pocket.

16. “IT’S CINCO DE MAYO! HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!”

Sept. 16: Mexican Independence Day.
May 5: Battle between Puebla and France. We won. Unless you live in Puebla, no one celebrates it.

17. Cristina is the Hispanic Oprah.

18. During Ethnicity Day at school, your costume was always the best.

19. When your family is yelling in Spanish and all your friends are just like:

Bonus points if it’s a party or they’re all drunk.

20. Every time you go to Mexico, you get to know at least one more aunt, uncle, or cousin.

But you love them all anyway. Even the uncle that’s always drunk.