Animals March Madness, Round One: Giraffes Vs. Elephants

2. Exhibit A: The double-tuft of hair on a giraffe’s head.

No other animal has such a cute head of hair on their heads. —Whitney Jefferson

AP / David Jenike Getty / MICHAL CIZEK

3. Exhibit A: Elephants have an adorably fuzzy cluster of fur atop their round elephant heads. Sure, it’s only *one* cluster. But it’s pretty great.

—Matt Bellassai

4. For example, look at this delightfully fluffy baby elephant be all clumsy and cute.

5. The fuzziness of his furry elephant head is almost unbearable.

6. Exhibit B: Giraffes have super-cute long necks!

Sean Gallup / Getty Images

Can you imagine cuddling up to one of these giant necks?

7. Baby giraffes are extra-cute because of their long necks. So awkward, so cute!

8. Exhibit B: THIS is how elephants hold hands! Well, not hands exactly. Trunks. But look at how friendly and loving they are.

11. Exhibit C: Giraffes are really cute when they’re scared.

For example…

14. Exhibit C: This elephant frolicking on the beach. He is a perfect example of how elephants enjoy good, clean fun in the water.

17. These guys, on the other hand, are a perfect example of how giraffes are drunk and disorderly and irresponsible.

18. Exhibit D: Every Giraffe’s “Judging You” Face.

How perfect is this face? It conveys both “Go on, I’m listening” and “Oh, REALLY?” in one single expression. I mean, what a perfect animal to have a conversation with! You can yammer on and on…and the giraffe will just listen to you with this expression. Perfection.

And yes, Matt, this is the face I am making at you IRL for that photo of “drunk and disorderly” giraffes above. Obviously one of them tripped and the other is helping him back up.

20. Exhibit D: Elephants are charmingly gentle giants, and they want to be friends with everybody and everything. For example, look at this baby elephant befriend a group of little ducklings.

21. Look how badly this elephant wants to befriend this sheep.

22. Look how eager these elephants are to touch this hunk’s butt.

23. And most importantly, look at this baby elephant give this man a hug. LOOK AT IT. LOOK. AT. IT.


24. Exhibit E: The way giraffe parents bend down to lick their babies’ heads.


25. Aww.

Todd Wevaert / AP

26. Is there a cuter mother/child pairing in the animal kingdom? I think not.

Brannon Moore / AP

27. Exhibit E: Elephants are basically always happy, and their huge floppy ears make their lovable smiles all the better.

30. Exhibit F: A giraffe’s very endearing “derp” face.


34. They also like to show off this face while expertly executing photobombs.

38. Exhibit F: Despite their hefty stature, elephants LOVE playing soccer. Just imagine a team of plump elephants chasing a soccer ball around a field. JUST IMAGINE. Or better yet, look at these chunky chaps play ball:

NAVESH CHITRAKAR / Reuters /Landov
FABIAN BIMMER / Reuters /Landov

41. In conclusion, giraffes are TOO FABULOUS.

42. And they are hungry for your votes.

43. So you must vote for them!

44. In conclusion, elephants are wild and cute and amazing.

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