Community Post: The Pains Of Being Named Todd

1. As of the 1990 Census, Todd was the 88th most common male first name in the United States

2. So you think there would be some cool Todds out there, right?

3. It wasn’t always bad. This Todd, for example, was quite loveable

4. But things quickly got weird in the 90’s

5. Hollywood declared a war

6. Cultish neighbor Todd? Check.

7. Whacko freak personal assistant Todd? Check.

8. LL Cool J decided to distance himself

(Granted, “Cool” is a more bitchin’ middle name by far)

9. Even George Carlin had beef

10. Dont count on a medical Todd to add any credibility

11. Even our beloved child star went nuts

Rap sheet highlights: making a bomb threat against a car dealership, pulling a gun on his mechanic during a dispute over a bill, and an attempted murder charge after allegedly shooting a crack dealer eight times during a cocaine binge.

12. Then Wedding Crashers blew up in 2005, and Todds everywhere were screwed

The painting was a gift. We get it.

13. But surely some prominent political Todds will save us…right?!

14. Wrong.

Seems legit

15. But the tides are slowly changing. This Todd, for example, wrote and directed Road Trip, Old School, and The Hangover

There ya go, Todd Phillips!

16. This Todd is a five-time All-Star

Lookin’ good, Todd Helton!

17. This Todd sold his website to Yahoo! for $5.7 million

Nicely done, Todd Wagner!

18. Even Todd Bridges redeemed himself by rescuing a drowning paraplegic woman in 2011

For real. That’s what we’re talkin bout, Willis!

19. So keep your chin up Todds, and just be ok with the fact that when you give your name at Starbucks they’ll never get it right.

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