Community Post: The Pains Of Being Named Todd
1. As of the 1990 Census, Todd was the 88th most common male first name in the United States
2. So you think there would be some cool Todds out there, right?
3. It wasn’t always bad. This Todd, for example, was quite loveable
4. But things quickly got weird in the 90’s
5. Hollywood declared a war
6. Cultish neighbor Todd? Check.
7. Whacko freak personal assistant Todd? Check.
8. LL Cool J decided to distance himself
(Granted, “Cool” is a more bitchin’ middle name by far)
9. Even George Carlin had beef
10. Dont count on a medical Todd to add any credibility
11. Even our beloved child star went nuts
Rap sheet highlights: making a bomb threat against a car dealership, pulling a gun on his mechanic during a dispute over a bill, and an attempted murder charge after allegedly shooting a crack dealer eight times during a cocaine binge.
12. Then Wedding Crashers blew up in 2005, and Todds everywhere were screwed
The painting was a gift. We get it.
13. But surely some prominent political Todds will save us…right?!
15. But the tides are slowly changing. This Todd, for example, wrote and directed Road Trip, Old School, and The Hangover
There ya go, Todd Phillips!
16. This Todd is a five-time All-Star
Lookin’ good, Todd Helton!
17. This Todd sold his website to Yahoo! for $5.7 million
Nicely done, Todd Wagner!
18. Even Todd Bridges redeemed himself by rescuing a drowning paraplegic woman in 2011
For real. That’s what we’re talkin bout, Willis!