GOORAMA!

1. Expectation: Your pranks will be epic and original.

Reality: They will be underwhelming and poorly executed.

2. Expectation: Children will be cute.

Reality: Children willl be evil.

3. Expectation: You will make an awesome geeky costume.

Reality: No one will get it.

4. Expectation: You’ll slowly savor your pile of sweets over the next few weeks, sharing them with friends.

Reality: You will eat everything, immediately.

5. Expectation: You’ll make a cool, original, amazing pumpkin.

Reality: You won’t.

6. Expectation: You’ll drink gorgeous Halloween-themed drinks.

Blood Sucker Cocktail – shake up triple sec, vodka and pineapple juice, then strain and pour into a glass. Drip strawberry or raspberry puree along the sides of the glass to add streams of “blood.”

Reality: You’ll drink beer.

7. Expectation: Hookups at Halloween parties will be made awesome by the costume combinations.

Reality: It’s not that adorable.

8. Expectation: Someone will have a really witty costume.

Hello, Edgar Allen Ho.

Reality: Someone will have a really offensive costume.

9. Expectation: You’ll find some incredibly life-changing sweets.

Reality: It’ll be the same, terrible sweets.

Unbranded hard lollipops: the sweet of choice for a person who doesn’t understand nice things.

10. Expectation: Your friends will have come up with an amazing group costume.

Reality: They will have forgotten entirely.

11. Expectation: You’ll go to a party that’s disturbing in a great way.

12. Expectation: You’ll have an amazing time at a Halloween party.

Reality: You’ll spend the night reading dozens of Halloween BuzzFeed lists.