25 Signs You’re Not Ready to Graduate

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Your college years are the golden ones that everyone said you’d look back upon fondly in high school. The keg stands. Learning to live off of ramen. Training your body to run on four hours of sleep.

What was the point of those student loans again? Oh, yes — a degree that will take you to the next chapter of life. You’ve successfully scraped by for the past four to five years, and that piece of paper is the golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s functioning adulthood factory.

While most of us discover after racking up thousands of dollars in debt that the greatest lessons are learned outside of the classroom or textbook, some students might not be prepared for the postgraduate real world.

Consider the following signs before stepping (or stumbling) across the stage.

1. You still rely on the cafeteria or a microwave for your daily nutritional requirements.

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2. You trust the pizza delivery guy more than your own cooking.

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3. You can’t give directions to the library because you’re not quite sure where it’s located.

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4. Your monthly utilities include beer, concert tickets and the Netflix account you share with your roommates.

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5. Cleaning your sheets involves a vacuum hose.

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6. You buy new socks and underwear rather than doing laundry.

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7. Your “Keep Calm” posts on Tumblr only motivated you to think about finals.

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8. You can’t remember the last time you actually washed a dish because all of your meals involve plastic or styrofoam.

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9. The only person who cleans your apartment is your mom, the one time a year she visits you at school.

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10. Your idea of “dressing up” involves leggings, Uggs and your best North Face.

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11. Spritzing yourself with Febreze before walking out the door is an acceptable alternative to showering.

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12. You ate your last bowl of cereal with water because you were too lazy to walk downstairs and buy milk.

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13. You still haven’t purchased toilet paper. Why bother, when you can take it from the campus stalls?

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14. You think 401K is a new Skrillex song.

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15. Consecutive all-nighters during finals week are no problem — one hour in your 11:00 a.m. class is a different story.

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16. Socializing without a game of beer pong to break the ice is nearly impossible.

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17. “Taking it easy” means only going out 5 nights a week.

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18. You believe it is still socially acceptable to wear pajama pants in public.

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19. The $25 left in your bank account is just enough for a new purse.

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20. You fail a quiz because the Internet was down last night and you didn’t know how to study with the textbook.

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21. Your biggest life achievement so far is earning three stars on every level of Angry Birds.

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22. You love group projects because it means everyone else will do the work for you.

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23. You know to stay on top of current events — and the theme of your next party is most important. (Who your date will be is a world issue.)

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24. You spent more time picking an Instagram filter for your notes than actually reading them.

25. When people ask, “What is your major?,” the answer is Ke$ha.

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