23 Times I Screamed During Beyoncé’s 90-Second Tour Promo
1. When Beyoncé emerges from the ground like a diva beast coming out of hibernation.
2. And then just stands there while lights explode behind her.
3. When she twists her legs “Run The World” style in a costume that pretty much only Beyoncé can pull off.
4. When she pumps her fist and basically the entire world shakes.
5. When Beyoncé is the center of this beautiful diva flower thing.
6. WHEN SHE DOES THIS BOOTY CHECK THING IN HER NIPPLE SUIT.
7. When she screams like only Beyoncé can scream.
8. When she claps her hands while a rainstorm of sparks falls behind her.
9. When she does this twist thing.
10. WHEN SHE TAKES FLIGHT.
11. AND LANDS LIKE AN ANGEL RETURNING TO EARTH.
12. When she rocks out in this sparkly tight suit and everything is right about it.
13. When she flips her hair so hard you can just feel the power emanating from her cranium.
14. When she pounds her fist and the lights go out but she keeps sparkling with the radiance of a billion stars.
15. WHEN SHE OPENS HER MOUTH AND THE SOUND OF A THOUSAND ANGELS COMES FROM WITHIN.
16. When she rolls around atop a piano in her sparkly jumpsuit and high heels.
17. When she bends over and her hair just billows in the wind.
18. When she does the “Single Ladies” bump.
19. When she sits in the center of what looks like the best Beyoncé storytime ever.
AND THE GUY BEHIND HER DOESN’T EVEN LOOK IMPRESSED. GET OUT, GUY. WHO ARE YOU EVEN?