GOORAMA!

1. Spring is essentially just shitty summer.

2. The weather can never decide what the hell it wants to do.

3. The melting snow reveals so many forgotten secrets.

4. Nobody can get their AC game right.

5. It never stops raining.

6. At the first sign of good weather, every public place is packed with people.

7. Where the hell did all these bugs come from?

8. And these goddamned birds!?

9. Allergies will destroy you.

10. The only thing worst than allergies is allergy tests.

11. You have to start mowing the lawn again…

12. …and spring cleaning is a nightmare.

13. It’s the shitty daylight savings time switch.

14. You’ve got to start getting back in shape…

15. …and shaving your legs again…

16. …and for some reason everyone thinks it’s a good idea to start wearing flip-flops.

17. You always seem to be stuck inside when it’s nicest outside.

18. Spring break is a joke.

19. But thanks to mid-season replacements, so is staying in and watching TV.

20. If you do go outside, there are suddenly Frisbees flying fucking everywhere…

21. …and those terrible-smelling trees everywhere…

(PS: Those are Bradford pear trees, aka semen trees.)

22. …and it’s so humid that you don’t want to stay out for long.

23. Not to mention that it’s tornado season.

In conclusion, spring sucks. Call me when it’s summer.